Honestly

I want to let you into the mind of a mormon missionary.. Just a little. 

One friday morning my companion and I prayerfully discussed a list of names on our ward roster. We talked about people on it that we knew, what we knew about them and how we could help them. We talked about the people we didn’t know, what we knew about them, and how we might help them. We chose five names. Each day the following week we planned to visit one of the people on  our five name list, each less active in the church. 

On one such action day, we began an hour walk up the road to visit one of the names, Ortega Delsayulne (name changed). We talked with a few people on our way until we had reached her home. We had never met this woman and struggled pronouncing her name. We rapped on the door. There was a moment of silence and we knocked again. After another moment of silence, the door opened and Ortega stepped into the sunlight. We introduced ourselves and askeD how to pronounce her last name, mostly to generate small talk. “Del - Sigh - uhl - neigh” she pronounced in a thick Russian accent. 

“Great! I really struggle pronouncing names and I want to pronounce them right,” I explained, “We were just in the neighborhood and thought we’d swing by and introduce ourselves.”

Her words stabbed me, “Who else are you visiting in my neighborhood?”

“um.. Well. the Johnsons, live just down the street from you and-” 

“The Johnsons live on the other side of center street.”

“Well yeah, and we actually have an investigator that lives just around the corner.”

She was almost mocking me now, “Well, have you visited them yet?”

“We, um, no. We were going to see if you were home first.”

“Well, I’m just getting ready to leave my home so you’ll have to try another time.” She closed her door.

This experience struck me. I felt terrible. I was a liar. I was serving the almighty with the tongue of deceit. My intentions were good. I just didn’t want to weird people out. I just wanted to make things seem natural and normal. I just want people to be comfortable. I always opened my candid visits in like manner, but now I felt terrible. 

So I repented and this is what I learned: 

1. Honesty makes you feel good. As I’ve tried to be completely honest with people, I’ve felt great relief in knowing that I have nothing to hide. I’ve kept so many secrets at times that my secrets had secrets. Stepping out of the shadows has a crisp, clean feeling. Transparency is grand freedom.
2. Honest Transparency isn’t blibber blabber. Tell me a secret to keep and I’m not going to spread it. Privacy is ok. Being honest doesn’t mean that you’re a completely open book. I like not to be predicted. Shoot, I don’t even know what I’m going to do most of the time. Ask me the truth though, and I’ll give it to ya - unless I’ve made a commitment not to, in which case, I’ll tell you that. 
3. Honesty is power. Much more effective than the “we were in your neighborhood” approach to missionary work, is the truth. “Ma’am, we earnestly prayed about who we should visit today and we feel directed by God to your doorstep.” BE BOLD! This applies to everything. Don’t play games. Think that girl looks pretty? Tell her. Having trouble at work? Say something. Feeling inadequate? Admit it. Not sure how? Say that. Sometimes the harder truths to tell are the ones that might sting a little. Don’t white lie. Give appropriate feedback. If someone did a good job on something. Tell them, but if they didn’t, don’t. This will give your opinion validity. People will trust you, because you are trustworthy. 

Jesus taught us that the truth will set us free. He is full of grace and truth. His words are irrevocably decreed. He has perfect integrity. It is my hope that I may follow His example. If you share in that Godly goal, 

Repent Repent Repent. And Christ will make all the difference.